Intoxicology

  What OWNERSHIP is: Coming in (at the butt crack of dawn, four hours prior to opening) Cleaning, prepping, book work, staffing, more cleaning, more prepping, inventory, intake, stocking, shelving, more cleaning. THEN-working the actual lunch shift. Then, restocking for the evening, cleaning, more prepping, more staffing, resetting, maybe (if you are lucky) a 15-minute standing lunch break, and change of clothes, and cigarette-usually drags come between bites of a dead sandwich that Karen demanded had too much mustard.  THEN-working the actual dinner shift. Then cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning. Headache sets in. Book work with a headache, money counting, checking staff for their work and cleaning, and then closing the door and turning off the neons. You pour yourself a glass of red, and sit down-finally, and you are there until the wee hours balancing, setting up cash for the next day, cleaning the bathrooms, maybe eating dinner at 1am, and crying in your wine....

  Recipes.  Yes, traveling the traverse of bottled up (pun intended) cocktail recipes that have been bubbling around in my brain before I host the most epic Halloween party known to man.  Yes, I'm being serious. My yearly Halloween bash is like a bunch of late 40 to early 50-something's acting like a bunch of frat party douchebags-slopping ranch dip down their ridiculously over-planned costumes and drinking too much-everything until someone pukes into their lapel and holds it there all night. We don't even know it happened until we wake up the next morning and the smell hits us. Febreze is the word of the day.  But... See, we're adults now.  So-we spend actual money on costumes and "things". We don't do the 21-year-old sheet with a belt toga, or plastic fangs and a black plastic tablecloth tied around your neck. Or the ever present at every party on a budget hobo with your girlfriends mascara stubble and a bandana tied on a stick.  Refreshments consisting ...

So, as I was doing some internet sleuthing for this very post...I asked the oracle (Google) for some info.  I copied and pasted this for your entertainment and I hope it made you laugh as much as it did me...which incidentally, left me with a room full of teenagers staring at me and my my maniacal laughter- (I wrote it in my 6th hour independent study supervision shift) Here you go: Me: Where does wine get its smell and taste from ?  Google: Wine Gets Its Smell from  the Grape Lordt.  Is it me? Or is the internet getting dumber? I mean...is it dumbing itself down to the level of average intelligence? Does it burp out information based on what it assumes we can handle? I cannot.  Wine gets it smell and taste from grapes.  Wow, I never would have known that without consulting you-oh wise and powerful oracle.  Anyway, to that end-I did find some worthwhile info-eventually, and with much more specificity. Strangely enough, I did find some things I didn't a...

  I'm on a slight hiatus.  I'll be back this weekend with a fresh, new, post.  I have started back to school-you know, my real job.  And...I'm tired.  So-give me a few more days to get my feet underneath me and I'll have something shiny for you.  Hint: It's all about wine! See you soon,  T

I'm sure that when your 9th grade guidance counselor asked you: "So, little Johnny/Kevin/Karen-what do you want to be when you grow up" You absolutely answered: "I'd like to work in the most dysfunctional place in the world where alcoholics and drug addicts burrow in and never leave. I'd like to clean up metric tons of vomit, and give psychotherapy and divorce advice for free, and I'd especially love to be berated by a full on jackwagon of a 'general manager' who got his associates degree in business administration from his local junior college and drives a Dodge Stratus. I really want to eat standing up, chain smoke-standing up, sleep-standing up, have sex in the bathroom stall -standing up, and cry in a walk-in cooler when I get overwhelmed. I really want to lift and pull things twice my weight and super-punch soda syrup boxes until my knuckles bleed. I would like to also-cut thousands of lemons with those same bleedy knuckles and raw palms from...

Six Days in the desert! Six days have passed, and it has been six days since I left you hanging on part 1 of movie cocktails. Your thirst is great. I get it.  Fear not, loyalists and sometimes readers-I have not left you for good. I'm back.  I had a very busy week of family gatherings, my husbands birthday, his music gigs, and other odds and ends. Apologies for being scarce.  But....life. It always has a way of catching up to you.  I'm going to try to pump out at least three posts this week, because this coming weekend is going to be pretty packed with family stuff also.  Where is the Bond Martini?! Where, I ask you?! For this is surely the most known and special cocktail to ever grace the screen.  Keep your pants on-PLEASE-no one wants to see that. Well, unless you happen to be Henry Cavill-in which case-strip at will, son. ;) Anyway, no worries...we will get to the Bond effort. Read along, and your wish will come true. The fairy Grandmother of crafty bar-...

I lied.  Sorry. This post will not be about pairings-as originally declared. I decided I need to do just a bit more research on that, especially the wine varietals-first. We tenders-I mean, the professional ones, are lifetime learners. And while we may act like we know EVERYTHING about-everything, we really don't. (Don't tell anyone that I told you this-I will be banned for life from the secret society of bartenders and my life could be at risk)  We have hooded cloaks and cookies. Of which, I appreciate both. Don't compromise me.  Thankssomuch.  That said-the post today is going to be the first of a two-part series and a fun one. Mimicking The Joker-"Why so serious?" And also, using a movie quote-is apropos to our subject, which is.... MOVIE COCKTAILS.  Sitting around a fire with some friends a day or so ago, celebrating the big patriotic day-we got to talking about cocktails-while drinking cocktails. Weird, right? (Yes, even me...I had a little Cap'n in me-u...