Intoxicology

You mean to say that it has taken you all this time to actually post some damn cocktail recipes?! Yeah. Well, suck it up. I had to warm you up with background info first.  So, this post will have RECIPES. Yes. It's true. Recipes.  However, since I am a huge MCU nerd, and we have an impending major holiday coming up, I thought I'd jazz this bitch up a little bit by doing themed cocktails based on our favorite superheroes. Sounds childish? Meh.  The way I see it, our country could use a little whimsy right now given the massive dour news week.  Either way, these cocktails are tasty and delicious-with homemade ingredients and produce. What more could you ask for. Trust me, no one will call you a pussy for drinking my Captain Marvel-ous Margarita. I got your back.  Without further ado-Mama T's Marvel-ous Summer Sippers.  Enjoy! The First Avenger: 1 oz. Blue Curacao 1 oz. Chambord Raspberry Liqueur 1/2 oz. Malibu rum 1 oz. lemonade 1. Fill a collins glass 3/4 fu...

I know I compare being a bartender to being a chef pretty often.  I do this because they are similar in many ways-in methodology especially. Processes being what they are, it's very easy to strike that comparison. Especially when we talk about the actual art of the bar.  Two bartenders behind a three-deep bar on any given Saturday night is like a modern dance performance. Swoosh, swish, behind you, corner, twirl, duck, jump back, hop, and sometimes-dive. You see feats of strength and lifting empty kegs and ice buckets like a human body-silhouetted against the back bar mirror reflection. You see bottles being balanced (NOT like flair) but like graceful movement in watching the tall stream fall from a pour to a metal cup or seeing it splash into the bottom like a raindrop on a lake of Belvedere. Slow motion. Poetry. Dance.  She's even wearing a leotard.  The pass in a professional kitchen is the EXACT same kind of poetry. The difference is you don't see it because it i...

When you order a cocktail what is the first thing you see?  Hint: It's not the booze, the glass, or the hand pushing it to you.  IF it is mixed by an expert-the answer is always- The garnish.  When you order a plate of food and the server presents it to you, the garnish is merely perfunctory, it makes the dish look pretty, but typically-while edible, it rarely gets eaten. (Unless you happen to be my husband, who eats everything on his plate and sometimes uses his finger to swipe, and lick clean-I have often wondered of experimentation with edible dinnerware)  But, I digest.  When you order a cocktail, however, the garnish was designed and meant to be complimentary to the flavor and specifically for consumption. It serves a dual purpose of helping to finish the drink, and add a spike to the entire profile.  What's the big deal?  The big deal is...the garnish in a cocktail is important, necessary, and I'll even go as far as to say-the entire drink is non...

So, my pops was a bartender for fifty-one years.  Yes. Fifty-one.  He started out selling jukeboxes and bar-top poker machines to taverns around the area, which put him "in the know" with bartenders and owners alike.  It wasn't a difficult transition for him since he was already well-liked and had the "full of shit" personality for the job. He was promised some better than average cash and did the math-it could lead to more money than he was making as a commissioned salesperson. So, there he was.  He was another unicorn in so much as he was like me-a mostly non-drinker. An IRISH non-drinker. When I say we are unicorns, I mean that shit. We are multiple generations deep Irish...as in his parents came over here from the Isle. And to couple it with a barkeep-well...if they could put a price on it, we'd be auctioned off at Christies or some shit like that as a very rare and precious find. Like a virgin at a titty bar.  We're rare birds.  So, because he wasn...

The best thing about having been a bartender is: The stories.  Bartenders see things that would make most people's toes curl, some people laugh-hysterically, or...wonder about their life choices-and consider them-from that point on, possibly unstable.  The sheer insanity of being a tender can be daunting in so many ways, but also-comical, tragic, and downright ludicrous.  You probably want to hear a story, right?  Well, okay...if I must.   This will actually be a series post-so gird your loins, the jackfuck lunacy is coming your way.  Friday will now and forever be "Dirty Laundry Friday"-where we will be airing out our unmentionables from the past.  Where we hang our polka-dot fables out on the line for all to see and read.  No cap. (don't make fun of me, I'm trying to seem- relevant )  These are all 100% true tales of comedy, tragedy, shock and awe.  Good times.  Storytime #1  Sully's-Peoria, IL. Circa-1990 To be clear, I was ...